POEMSICLES

The Puckering Pickle Parade!

2008-07-18T13:24:00.000-07:00

7/18/2008
From the Forthcoming book "The Puckering Pickle Parade: And Other Read Aloud Poems4Kids" by Todd St. Pierre--- See www.LouisianaBoy.com

The Puckering Pickle Parade!

In a place called Pizanna,
Miss Lana-Leeanna
Makes a lip-locking lemonade!
But the bittersweet bounty
Of Cucumber County
Is the Puckering Pickle Parade!!!

A tart and tangy tango,
Marsh moon like a mango,
As vinegar vapors invade...
Boy, the bittersweet bounty
Of Cucumber County
Is the Puckering Pickle Parade!!!

So befriend and embellish,
Come garnish and relish,
The gherkins of Gooseberry Glade!
It's the pride and pure power,
(The sweet and the sour)
Of the Puckering Pickle Parade!

The Puckering Pickle Parade...
The Puckering Pickle Parade...
Pulp times are had... Dill friends are made...
At the Puckering Pickle...
Pick three for a nickel...

The Puckering Pickle Parade!!!

When it's one-fourteen in the shade...
Oh the bittersweet bounty
Of Cucumber County
Is the Puckering Pickle Parade!!!

Lily Licked the Toilet

2007-09-14T12:52:00.000-07:00

(Please Do Not Attempt This @ Home :-)~

Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the floor.
You can bet I’ll never
Kiss Lily anymore!
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the sink.
She’s full of germs and worms,
At least that’s what I think.
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the tub.
It’s safe to say her tongue
Could use a real good scrub!
She was the cutest POOCH! (To Smooch)
Why’d she have to spoil it?
Nothing’s been the same since…

Lily licked the toilet.

From the book "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" by Todd St. Pierre

PEACH FUZZ

2007-06-27T07:33:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Performance Poetry4Kids." By Todd St. Pierre

Click Image to Enlarge (For Better Viewing!)

GROUNDED!

2007-06-22T08:20:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids." By Todd St. Pierre

GROUNDED!

(Try sounding like your Dad as you perform this one!)

I saw the report card you brought home from work!
Punished! You're punished! You drive me berserk!
No Internet surfing! Here's my decision...
No cell phone use and no television!

Just go to your room and don't make me shout!
Go straight to your room and do not come out!
No car for a month, so give me the key!
Stop pouting this instant! I'm counting to three!

Don't disobey me! Why must you be bad?
Why can't you just be a good little Dad?
Grounded! You're grounded! You know what you did!

Hey, how does it feel, Dad, being the kid???

---It's fun to imagine trading places!---

Pulling Habits Out of Rats

2007-06-15T10:25:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids"
By Todd St. Pierre.

Pulling Habits Out of Rats

I’m no genie or Houdini,
I’m The Famous Rob Kabob.
Hocus-pocus I must focus,
I must think to do my job.
First I get in this position,
While the rat sits very still.
I’m part Shrink and part Magician,
And it takes a secret skill.
People ask, "Rob what’s your job?"
But they figure I am joking,
When I tell them I help rats
To stop drinking and stop smoking.
Some rats are such nail-biters,
Still others tend to overeat.
I wave my magic wand 3 times,
And PRESTO my work is complete.
I no longer miss my old job,
Pulling RABBITS out of HATS.
I’m The Famous Rob Kabob,
I pull HABITS out of RATS!

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www.LouisianaBoy.com

Mosquitoes: Actual-Factual Poems4Kids

2007-06-15T08:48:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" By Todd St. Pierre.

Click Image to Enlarge (for better reading)

Thanx

2007-06-15T08:44:00.001-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" By Todd St. Pierre.

Click Image to Enlarge (for better reading)

Picnic

2007-06-11T09:58:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" By Todd St. Pierre.

To be read VERY FAST :-)~

PICNIC

Penny the Peppermint Poodle
And Perry the Purple Peacock,
Walked with a pair of parasols
To play in the park down the block.
They packed a picnic with a peach,
A pear, a prune and a pickle,
There was a piece of pie for each
And a piece of pumpernickel.
Their pink pal Pete, the Parakeet,
Prepared pizza and plum strudel
For Perry the Purple Peacock,
And Penny the Peppermint Poodle.

RATS Disguised as CATS!

2007-06-09T10:37:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" By Todd St. Pierre. See www.AuthorsDen.com/Todd or www.LouisianaBoy.com

We're rats disguised as cats!
You should hear us purr and hiss,
It took weeks of practice,
To meow and act like this!

We're rats disguised as cats!
The owners do not know it,
It helps that we are large
And careful not to show it!

We're rats disguised as cats!
Yes, we use the litter box,
If they knew we were rats,
We'd be in for REAL hard knocks!

We're rats disguised as cats!
Risking life and limb for food,
CATNAPS sure beat RATTRAPS...
And the catnip's far out dude!

Free to Good Home

2007-06-08T08:33:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" By Todd St. Pierre

Would you like a Woolly Mammoth?
My dad says, "He has to go!
We cannot afford to keep him!"
...Gosh, I'm gonna miss him so!

He accidentally smashed Mom's car,
And ate the washing machine,
Then he dug up all Dad's roses
And destroyed the trampoline!

Oh, he's really not a bad pet!
He is cuddly and he's cool!
He is just a little clumsy,
And likes peeing in the pool!

I will really, really miss him!
He has been a lot of fun!
And I love him in spite of
All the damage he has done!

What's That Smell?

2007-06-07T14:22:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" By Todd St. Pierre.

Click Image to Enlarge (For Better Reading)

A Few FINAL Words From SPLAT the Hyperactive Bug

2007-06-07T14:15:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" By Todd St. Pierre.

Click Image to Enlarge (For Better Reading)

And the Preacher Was an Onion

2007-06-04T09:44:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" By Todd St. Pierre. See www.AuthorsDen.com/Todd or www.LouisianaBoy.com

Click to Enlarge Image (For Better Reading)

Ketchup!

2007-06-02T13:15:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids." By Todd St. Pierre. See AuthorsDen.com/Todd or www.LouisianaBoy.com

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Goals of the Lazy Child

2007-06-02T13:13:00.001-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids." By Todd St. Pierre. See AuthorsDen.com/Todd or www.LouisianaBoy.com

Click Image to Enlarge (For Better Reading)

Word 2 the Wise

2007-06-02T12:16:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids." By Todd St. Pierre. See AuthorsDen.com/Todd or www.LouisianaBoy.com

Click Image to Enlarge (For Better Reading)

YOU!

2007-06-02T12:12:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids." By Todd St. Pierre. See AuthorsDen.com/Todd or www.LouisianaBoy.com

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What's in a Name?

2007-05-30T12:30:00.000-07:00

From the forthcoming, "Put the People in a Zoo and Set the Animals Free: Read Aloud Poems4Kids." By: Todd St. Pierre

What's in a Name?

(An Actual-Factual Poem)

The Komodo dragon’s a lizard,
A sea-horse is a fish, not a horse.
Bald eagles aren’t really bald and…
A titmouse is a bird of course!
The prairie dog’s really a rodent.
The koala’s no bear, silly you!
He’s simply a marsupial,
With a pouch like a kangaroo!
American buffalo are bison,
Oh, I thought you might like to know.
So don’t be fooled by a name, child,
A name can confuse things so.

FEARS!

2007-05-28T09:33:00.000-07:00

From the book "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" by Todd St. Pierre

Click Image Below to Enlarge (For Better Reading!)

Do NOT Disturb!

2007-05-28T09:31:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" by Todd St. Pierre

www.LouisianaBoy.com

Click Image Below to Enlarge (for Better Reading!)

Backward Blue Poem

2007-05-28T09:29:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" by Todd St. Pierre

www.LouisianaBoy.com

Click Image Below to Enlarge (for Better Reading!)

I Cried So Much They Finally Said YES Just to Shut Me Up!

2007-05-28T09:26:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" by Todd St. Pierre

www.LouisianaBoy.com

Click on Image Below to Enlarge (For Better Reading)

CHECK IT OUT!

2007-05-28T09:21:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" by Todd St. Pierre

www.LouisianaBoy.com

Click on Image Below to Enlarge (for Better Reading)

Young Poets

2007-05-28T09:15:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" by Todd St. Pierre

www.LouisianaBoy.com

You speak for the lakes, the trees and the birds
You say what they'd say if they had the words.
Make PEACE and be proud, choose well every choice
Speak HOPE and speak loud, you are Nature's voice.
Speak with respect now, for jungles and streams,
Speak for all wildlife and dream giant dreams.
Speak with great courage, speak up and speak out,
Write with a whisper or write with a SHOUT!
Stand up young poets for clean air and rivers,
Free verse or lyric; your message delivers...
Truth to the future citizens of earth,
Speak of your freedom your friends and self worth.
Speak for tomorrow and though you're still young,
Speak for the Forest, your pen is her tongue.
The world waits to hear your songs still unsung
Words posses power, you can write the wrongs
Teach us and lead us with Poems and with songs.
Speak now for nature, for trees and for birds,
Defenders of Earth choose carefully your words!

The Maggots in my Meatloaf

2007-05-24T11:49:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" by Todd St. Pierre

www.LouisianaBoy.com

The Maggots In My Meat-loaf

The maggots in my meat-loaf,
Often cause me too much strife.
They take advantage of me,
And they need to get a life!
The fattest one he asked me...
"May I have a piece of ham?
Will you make some fish and chips?
Or a little leg of lamb?"
The skinny one she asked me...
"Could you spare a yummy yam?
Do you have extra ketchup?
Are you out of red plum jam?"
The maggots in my meat-loaf,
They sure have a lot of nerve!
I don't mind if they eat here...

But my kitchen is SELF-SERVE!!!

2-Cute 2-Poot

Put your right hand under your left arm pit,
And flap your arm up and down just a bit.
It will sound just like you are breaking wind,
So take what you learn and go show a friend!
Try it in class, teach it to your teachers,
Do it as you run up and down bleachers.
Right smack dab in the middle of dinner,
Make your guests laugh with this sure fired winner,
And if they should happen to scream or squeal,
Explain to them that the poot wasn't real!
With practice you'll soon get the hang of it...

Put your right hand under your left arm pit!

This drives parents crazy and that's why you should get really good at it!

GOTCHA!

2007-05-24T11:28:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" by Todd St. Pierre

www.LouisianaBoy.com

Gotcha!

Your ba-skeddie is ready,
Oh, Eddie, come eat!
I used mushrooms and meatballs
To make it complete!
It's unique and it's yummy!
Just watch as it squirms!
But, instead of thin noodles,
I used squiggly worms!
Yes, the sauce is real tasty,
I made it with mud!
And the red color comes from
The bat brains and blood!

GOTCHA!

Did you really believe me?
For days I've rehearsed,
And I thought you'd remember...

Today's April 1ST!

Worm Noodle Soup

2007-05-24T11:25:00.000-07:00

From the book "Put the People in a Zoo and Set the Animals Free: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" by Todd St. Pierre

www.LouisianaBoy.com

Worm Noodle Soup

You've heard about "Green Eggs and Ham,"
'Bout Snotsicles and June-bug Jam.
Some REAL GROSS foods in songs and books,
Wait till you hear what my Dad cooks...
Worm Noodle Soup! Worm Noodle Soup!
It's even worse than Sloggety-Sloop!
Worm Noodle Soup: That Stuff's for birds!
It taste SO BAD there are no words!
Worm Noodle Soup! Worm Noodle Soup!
It's right up there with Gagley-Goop!
The Smell! The Stench! The Aftertaste...
Of all the meals I've ever faced...
Worm Noodle Soup! Worm Noodle Soup!
It's even worse than Parrot Poop!
Of all the things I DO NOT Like...
Don't make me start a HUNGER STRIKE!
I'd sooner eat a HOOLA-HOOP!!!
I CANNOT STAND WORM-NOODLE SOUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Purple Pimple Poem

2007-05-24T11:23:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" by Todd St. Pierre

www.LouisianaBoy.com

Purple Pimple Poem

Wallace Wimple had a pimple,
A BIG pimple on his dimple.
So he tweezed it and he squeezed it,
'Til his mother shouted, "Stop It!"
Then he smashed it and he mashed it,
But he could not seem to pop it.
He bought big bags of medicine
And tried every type of lotion,
From Super-Duper-Acne-Zap,
To Popular-Pimple-Potion.
Yes, he scrubbed it and he rubbed it,
Tried to pray it gone at temple.
But still it GREW and GREW into
A gigantic purple pimple!
And this pimple was not simple
For it would not fade away.
Wallace Wimple had a pimple,

And it's growing still today!

What's That Smell?

It's NOT some nasty slimy slime,
The smell is worse than that this time!
It's NOT some ghastly grimy grime,
I'll track it down, just give me time!
It's NOT that hundred day old pear!
It's NOT your unwashed underwear!
It's NOT that bowl of ox butt soup!
It's NOT that stinky chicken poop!
It's NOT your green and crusty socks!
It's NOT the kitty's litter box!
I've traced the source directly south,
The odor's coming from your mouth!
You didn't take the time to brush!
You shouldn't be in such a rush!
Did you have rats for dinner, Beth?
Now, that, my friend, is SOME BAD BREATH!

Enough to stink a kid to death!

Remember: Brush and floss daily and play the ukulele!

About Beets

2007-05-24T11:20:00.001-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" by Todd St. Pierre

www.LouisianaBoy.com

About Beets!
(A VERY TRUE Story!)

I’d rather eat snails with some raw lizard tails!
I’d rather eat soap scum and witch’s toenails!
I’d rather eat fungus, black and humungous,
In fact I’m sure I would rather eat fungus!
I’d rather eat bugs and the shells of three crabs,
Sticky alien brains all covered in scabs!
I’d rather eat rocks in a giant brown box!
I’d rather eat chickens that have chicken pox!
I’d rather eat cacti that make me scream "OUCH!"
I’d rather eat hair-balls from under the couch!
I’d rather eat bread that has turned grossly green,
Or the biggest earth worm that you’ve ever seen!
I’d rather eat ear wax and slimy eel skin,
I wish that the church would say "BEETS are a SIN!"
I’d rather eat garbage, a cockroach or TEN…

Than to EVER-EVER eat BEETS Again!

Did You Show Up Just To Throw Up?

2007-05-24T11:17:00.000-07:00

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" by Todd St. Pierre

www.LouisianaBoy.com

Did You Show Up Just To Throw Up?

Did you show up just to throw up?
Did you plan it all this way?
Did you show up just to throw up?
Just to ruin my tenth birthday?
Cuz you gobbled up my ice cream
And three-quarters of my cake!
You destroyed my lovely party,
OH, it's more than I can take!
You ate every yellow candle,
As I stood there screaming, "GROW UP!"
God, it's more than I can handle...
Did you show up just to throw up?

Little kid, I think you did!

This poem is to Hayden J. Reeves, who really did ruin my tenth birthday! Yes, Hayden, I am still mad at you!

Twerp

(You must burp each time you read the word BURP in this poem!)

I’m Twindelton Twerp, I’m King of the Burp;
Folks come from near and from far.
They pay in advance, all for the chance
To meet a real burping star.
I burp so loudly, I burp so proudly,
I live for the cheers and stares.
I burp at churches and talent searches,
At festivals and at fairs.
I burp for birthdays, Easters and Earthdays,
Anybody can hire me.
I burp so wondrous, so strong and thunderous;
They can’t help but admire me!
I get lots of cards and fancy awards,
And they all agree I’m great!
I’m Twindelton Twerp and I love to burp!

So why can’t I get a date?

Pet Gargoyles

2007-05-24T11:14:00.000-07:00

Gargoyles

Pet gargoyles grunt and snore and cough,
But sadly you can't turn them off!
The belch and wheeze and sneeze and spit,
I cannot bear the thought of it!
They slurp and burp, they howl and growl,
They moan and groan; they smell so foul!
Gargoyles gargle, and pass lots of gas,
Their gas it smells like sassafras!
If you get a gargoyle have no fear...

From their FARTS you can make root-beer!

Belinda ATE a BOOGER

2007-05-24T11:12:00.000-07:00

Belinda Ate a Booger

Belinda ate a booger,
On our field trip to Kentucky,
I can't believe she did that,
It's just so very yucky!
I think it's really nasty,
I'd die if they all knew,
One time in the first grade...

I ate a booger too!

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" by Todd St. Pierre

www.LouisianaBoy.com

Dinner @ Grandma's

2007-05-24T11:08:00.000-07:00

Dinner @ Grandma's

Dinner at my Grandma's can drive a kid to fits,
The last time she fed me pig poo and olive pits!
This time was even worse; she cooked a big brown snake!
The food was a nightmare, though I was wide awake!
Caterpillar cornbread, a sliver of liver,
Bumble bees mixed with peas! How can I forgive her?
She force-fed me spiders, a hedgehog and a half,
"Eat those sweet lizard feet," she told me with a laugh.
My eyes ran out of tears, from all this child abuse,
She even made me drink a glass of onion juice!
Poison ivy salad that made my insides itch,
I'm starting to believe that grandma is a witch!
I begged and I begged, but of all the twisted things,
For dessert she brought out some buttered beetle wings.
Dinner at my Grandma's can drive a kid to fits...

It's better when she feeds me Goat Guts and Garlic Grits!

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" by Todd St. Pierre

www.LouisianaBoy.com

Have You Seen my Poopasaurus?

2007-05-23T10:40:00.000-07:00

This Blog features children's poems from the book "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids." By: Todd St. Pierre.

It was also feature NEW selections from the forthcoming book "Put the People in a Zoo & Set the Animals Free: Read Aloud Poems4Kids."

Not all of these word-concoctions are GROSS... but... Todd confesses... he loves creating the earwax and booger poems most of all!!!

ENJOY!

For a variety of Todd's current projects & works-in-progress visit AuthorsDen.com/Todd or www.LouisianaBoy.com

Have You Seen my Poopasaurus?

Have you seen my Poopasaurus?
Oh she poops in great big piles.
She’s a prehistoric creature,
And her poop goes on for miles!

Can you help me to locate her?
Though your nose won’t like it much,
If you see her please remember,
You can look but do not touch!

Do not touch my Poopasaurus,
Or she may just poop on you.
She escaped me just this morning,
When I took her out to poo.

Have you seen my Poopasaurus?
She’s the only pet I’ve got.
She’s cute and kind, but keep in mind…

She poops an awful lot!

Author's Note:

Some grown-ups absolutely HATE This poem
& that is why you must read it out loud & learn it by heart!!!

Toe-Jam

Benjamin bites his toenails,
And he really loves the taste!
This is his only pastime,
He chews and spits in haste!
With his tongue, young Benjamin,
Licks loose the black slime paste!
He takes his time to make sure,
No toe-jam goes to waste!

So Ben, how does it taste?